Originally from Jamaica, I'm a learning and organizational development professional with over 15 years experience working in government. I'm passionate about "Leading, Learning, Engaging and Developing People Wherever I Go." One of the ways, I get to do this, is by sharing my insights and stories, from the lessons I have learned in my journey towards personal and professional development on my blog- www.itsalearninglife.com.
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I remember when I first relocated to the US with my baby girl. I had a clear #vision of the life I wanted for us. So, I casted a vision of me working in a university setting or government organization that would give me flexibility, stability and a set schedule to care for my daughter, as we settled. 👉 I wanted my new opportunity to provide an environment for me to grow and develop &add value . 👉I wanted work life balance to have time to take my daughter to the playground in the evenings &church on the weekends. ❌I didn’t want a job that required travel, or night/ weekends. ❌I didn’t want the hustle & bustle of city life. Sounds like a clear& perfect vision right?
🎯Well, prior to our big move, I researched the area I was moving to, roles that were a fit for my educational background & professional experience & started applying for #jobs. By the time I moved, I knew where the Arlington Employment Center was, their schedule and services & hit the ground running.
😔 I would love do tell you that I found a job that fit my vision quickly and things turned out as planned.But one month became two, three , four & eventually six… I went to the center 5 days a week, applied up to 10 jobs a day, attended workshops on everything from #interviewskills, #resumewriting, #networking, #jobfairs etc. And still no job. There were many interviews & second interviews and applications that sunk to the bottom of sinkholes of applicant tracking systems. I grew anxious, worried, doubtful of my vision and whether I had made the right decision to move to the USA. I also struggled with the opinions & suggestions of friends and family about what I should be doing, jobs I should apply to and even suggestions to move again.
🙏But I held on to my vision and pushed on. By month 6, the job offers came trickling in, but none that matched my vision exactly. The job I eventually accepted landed me in a limited term role working as administrative assistant at Fairfax County Government . The role was not commensurate with my background and experience but it brought me closer to my vision. I reckoned a foot in the door was all I needed.
😀Now 9+ yrs later- the vision has been realized.
🎯So what am I saying here : *Having a clear vision doesnt mean things will go as you hoped or planned. *Preparedness does not equal automatic success . *Detours dont equal failure. *Acheiving your vision will require perseverance. * You can accept counsel but you have to ignore the noise * And most importantly, your vision must be clear, simple and easy to communicate to help you get the support you will need.
Over to you- do you have a vision for this stage or chapter for your life? How are you pushing past the obstacles to stay on track?
10 Reflections for 10 Years: On this day, 10 years today, my daughter and I embarked on a journey of a lifetime as we migrated from Jamaica to the USA. As I reflect on our journey, I can’t remember exactly why I choose this month or this day for our big move, I just know our steps were ordered and God covered us in every step and everyday. And I’m feeling truly blessed and grateful for where we are today.
In honor of our 10th year anniversary/milestone of #ComingtoAmerica, I will be sharing 10 reflections or top lessons I’ve learned along the way.
Lessons 1: You will need courage to achieve your dreams, goals, or to pursue your desire to walk in purpose. So, what is courage you ask? While, there are many definitions for courage, the one that resonates with me the most most is the one on a coffee mug gifted to me by a supervisor (now friend ) after she had heard my story. And it reads: “courage doesn’t always roar, sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day saying- I will try again tomorrow”.
As I write out those words, I let out a deep, long sigh. A sigh of relief that …..my little princess (now young lady) and I , made it this far. I cab feel the tears welling in my eyes, as I think of all those painful and difficult moments when I had to cling dearly to that small voice and find the strength to try again tomorrow. In this moment , I am so very grateful that back then, I had the courage that roared and empowered me to bravely leave my successful job, home, professional network , friends and comfort zone to begin life again with my then 2 yr old daughter.
Cofffe mug with the Definition of Courage
Even though that Big Roaring Courage served me well throughout the years, it was and still is, the small voice of courage that centered and steadied me through numerous failed job interviews in my efforts to transition back into my career field, and to continue to grow. It was that small voice of courage that whispered for me to keep trying when I lost out on so many offers when trying to buy our first home here in the US, until we did. And it’s that small voice of courage that encourages me still, to boldly use my voice, to play to my strengths and talents and to step out in faith to ‘lead, learn, engage and develop people where I go’.
I share all of this to say, we all have courage within us, that beckons us to try something new, step out of our comfort zones, push past setbacks and failures and fight for that which we aspire to.
So, if you are reading this, I hope today is the day you find your courage (Big or small) to chase your dreams and to pursue your goals. You’ve got this!
Until next time and my next lesson share, Remember #ItsALearningLife4Real. #10thanniversary#celebratingsuccess#comingtoamerica#courage#personalgrowth#personaldevelopment#selfleadership#motivation#life#lessons#reflection
We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve
Bill Gates
The say that feedback is a gift. But do you struggle with giving this gift? Which mistakes do you often make? Which mistake have you suffered from?
Believe or not, many people struggle with fear or discomfort in giving feedback in both their personal and professional life. Regardless of how you feel about giving feedback, this is a skill we all need to build and maintain positive and healthy relationships and promote effective communication. And when we give feedback to our friends, families and coworkers, we help them to develop greater self-awareness and understand the behaviors they might need to stop, change or continue.
So how do you avoid the 7 top mistakes in giving feedback?
Watch this Video for 7 Top Mistakes to Avoid in Giving Feedback!
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Is Your Saw Sharp? Sharpen The Saw is the # 7th Habit in Stephen Covey’s bestselling book – The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In explaining the 7th Habit, Covey tells the story of a wood cutter who spent hours sawing away at a tree. He was strained and exhausted. A young man walks up to him and asked him what he was doing. He responded- isn’t it obvious, I am cutting down the tree. The young man says- you look tired, why don’t you sharpen the saw. Why don’t you rest? The old man responded- I don’t have to sharpen my saw. I don’t have time to rest. I have to cut down this tree.
I don’t know about you, but I have shown up as this woodcutter in both my personal and professional life to the detriment to myself.
So, my question for you is- Are your that woodcutter? Do you need to sharpen your saw?
Watch This Video to Understand How You Can Keep Your Saw Sharp
How do you deal with the problems and complexities of love languages when you and your loved ones don’t express or receive love the same way?
According to Gary Chapman, “the 5 Love Languages are a simple and effective way to strengthen your connections, so you can experience greater joy and harmony in all of your relationships.” According to 5LoveLanguages.com, ” the premise of The 5 Love Languages™ book is quite simple: different people with different personalities give and receive love in different ways. By learning to recognize these preferences in yourself and in your loved ones, you can learn to identify the root of your conflicts, connect more profoundly, and truly begin to grow closer.”
This video is a conversation with my 11-year-old daughter where we discuss the five love languages and some of the problems, we experience in trying to express love and build and maintain positive, healthy and happy relationships.
Watch this video to learn about the 5 love languages, and some of the issues and problems that might arise when children and parents don’t speak the same love language and how we can deal with those problems and overcome them.
the-problem-with-love-languages-video
Until next time, Remember, It’sALearningLife4Real!
Another senseless school shooting in Uvalde, Texas, claimed the lives of 19 elementary students and 2 teachers. New of this latest mass shooting sent shockwaves across the United States and the world. But how do you help children who are impacted (directly and indirectly) cope with this kind of adverse childhood experience or trauma?
How do you support them when they feel physically and psychologically unsafe? How do you support children who have experienced any form childhood trauma to avoid threats to their mental health?
Watch this video to hear more about my recent experience supporting my 11-year-old daughter who was deeply affected by this traumatic event and awful tragedy.
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Over the last few weeks, I have found myself drinking from the proverbial firehose in my new job. That is, meeting new people, navigating a new work environment, taking in new information, listening, learning the scope of my new responsibilities, and asking questions to better understand the operations of the organization. Prior to starting this new role, I had never heard of the metaphor of drinking from a firehose. However, as soon as I heard it used, I could not help but smile at how well it described what I had been experiencing as I settled into my new job. Afterall, the many meetings, the rapid flow of new information, new acronyms, names, faces and roles sometimes passed in a blur, as I attempted to take copious notes and prayed for good memory. Which I imagine is exactly what drinking from a firehose might feel like?
What Does Drinking from the Firehose Mean?
According to the Urban Dictionary, the metaphor “drinking from the firehose” is defined as “to be overwhelmed (with information, responsibility, work, etc.); to do something intensely; to be inundated.” This experience or feeling is typical for most new hires during the first few days and weeks settling into a new job. During the onboarding process, (See previous article), new employees spend the majority of their early days getting to know their team(s), learning about business operations, key stakeholders, listening to customer needs and expectations, while scanning for opportunities to apply their skills and knowledge. And if not careful, one can quickly feel like the gushing firehose is spilling more water over one’s face and clothes, rather than what ends up in one’s mouth.
So, what can you do? How can you learn how to drink safely from the firehose and avoid the drowning feeling of being overwhelmed by the rapid flow of information, scope of work and many expectations that comes with your new role or job?
When I started my new role, I really wanted to do my best. So, I decided to draw on the wisdom of the crowd by asking my professional network on LinkedIn to share tips and advice to help me to position myself for success in my new role and confidently apply my skills and knowledge. I received over 100 valuable responses offering wisdom, tried and tested advice and key reminders that can help anyone achieve success when starting a new role or new opportunity.
How to Drink Well from The Firehouse
Here are the top eleven tips that you should keep in mind as you put your best foot forward and drink well from the firehose:
Believe in yourself and your abilities. Do not be consumed with trying to prove yourself- you are the person for the job
Listen twice as long as you intend to speak. As you do so, pay attention to what is said and to what isn’t. Keep your eyes and ears on the ground.
Be a learn it all, not a know it all. Rather than be an expert, be a sponge and ask questions to learn and understand. Be humble.
Be social. Try to say hello to everyone and try to meet as many people as you can. Remember to smile and be respectful of everyone.
Build relationships and connections. Surround yourself with the right people. The relationships you build will be the most valuable currency you have to spend.
Remember that trust and vulnerability go hand in hand. Be willing to be vulnerable and to trust your team as you get to know each other and vice-versa.
Learn the organization structureand culture. Understanding this will help you to get a sense of how you fit in and can contribute, as well as how things get done.
Maximize your first 90 days by setting realistic goals. Once you have gotten an understanding of your role and responsibilities, work with you manager to identify and agree key work priorities and goals to be achieved over the first 30-60-90 days.
Be open and ready to learn, fail and make mistakes. Things will not always work as planned, nor will all your bright new ideas be accepted. Don’t take this personally. Continue to listen and pivot. Fail fast and early and recover well. And as you do so. extend yourself grace and remember progression is better than perfection.
Ask your manager and team for feedback. Regular feedback will help you to gauge how you are doing, how you can add value and gain insights on your opportunities for growth. Allow yourself time to settle into your new space and work environment. And celebrate all your wins- no matter how big or small.
Be your authentic self. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not to impress others or fit in. Own your unique talents, perspectives, abilities and recognize the value you bring to the organization. Also remember to be patient and present for each step of your new journey.
At the end of the day, failing to manage the firehose and to drink safely while settling into a new opportunity will lead to frustration, burnout, stress, fatigue and less than optimal results. As you adjust to your new role, remember to pace yourself, and ask for help when and where you need it. Also, be willing to set healthy boundaries to maintain work – life balance and to ensure positive overall well-being.
So, what additional tips would you add to help others drink from the firehose and not drown? What has worked for you? What advice do you have for someone who is starting a new role or a new opportunity? Share and let me know.
Until next time, Remember, ItsALearningLife!
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Let’s face it – starting anything new can feel daunting, exciting, and challenging at the same time. Whether it’s a new job, new relationship/partnership or resettling to a new area, the process can be nerve-wracking. Because of this, it is not unusual for people to experience mixed emotions once the decision has been made. In fact, one of the most common emotions that many people experience is uncertainty -due to one or a combination of the following reasons:
Change isn’t easy and moving out of your comfort zone can prove difficult and painful.
People fear failure and want to do well and/or succeed in their varied endeavors. But the fear of failure, low risk tolerance and not wanting to make a mistake can be crippling.
The desire to do well or make an impact can create undue pressure and drive feelings of anxiety and self-doubt.
No one can predict the future; the future is unknown and even the best laid plans can go awry.
Last week, all these things became real to me as I started my new job. While I knew I was capable and competent to do the job and felt confident that I had made a great decision, when the first day came around, I couldn’t be sure of how things would unfold. How would my first day turn out? How would I feel at the end of the first week? Would the people be warm and welcoming? Would they like me? Would the environment be open, positive, supportive – one where I could learn, apply my talents and grow?
It is safe to say that my musings and thoughts are not unique to me. Most new employees approach their first day on the job with excitement and hope for a great experience, but with lingering fears of the outcomes. Fortunately, by the end of my first week, I could happily report that all went well. The team was warm and welcoming, the scope of work was what I expected, and the work environment was one where I felt confident that I would make a positive impact and continue to develop.
While I was deeply grateful for the positive experience, I am keenly aware that this is not always the case for many new employees on the first day, week or month on a new job. This is primarily due to the approaches that various managers and organizations use in onboarding new hires.
Importance of Effective Onboarding
Depending on the culture of the organization, the style of leadership and management and/or the quality of onboarding systems and policies, starting a new role can be equals parts chaotic, confusing and stressful. According to the Society for Human Resource Professionals (SHRM), “Onboarding is a prime opportunity for employers to win the hearts and minds of new employees”. Amy Hirsh Robinson also points out that “Onboarding is a magic moment when new employees decide to stay engaged or become disengaged”. And “it offers an imprinting window when organizations can make an impression that stays with new employees for the duration of their careers.”
Unfortunately, however, some organizations waste this opportunity by not creating the right conditions to set new employees up for success or the environment for them to feel safe and thrive. Robinson cautions that “new hires who experience such badly planned and executed initiations may conclude that the organization is poorly managed and decide that it was a mistake to take the job. And “rather than setting new employees up for success, organizations with poor onboarding processes are setting the stage for an early exit.”
How to Set New Employees Up for Success
Whether the role is in -person, remote or hybrid, new hires expect their managers and organizations to provide opportunities to help them learn and understand their roles, familiarize themselves with the organization and understand policies and procedures. Research suggests that “69 percent of employees are more likely to stay with a company for three years if they experienced great onboarding. And “new employees who went through astructured onboarding program were 58 percent more likely to be with the organization after three years.”
So, what can employers do to ensure they are effectively onboarding new employees and get them started on the right footing.
According to Gallup, effective onboarding of new employees should focus on people, learning and processes. On the people side, the focus should be helping new employees meet and connect with new team members, ask questions and foster positive relationships. The learning should focus on helping new hires understand the mission and vision of the organization and how they fit in and can contribute in their respective role(s). With the processes, managers should provide new hires with a clear structure and journey for learning the job, the tools, systems, and technology, so that they have what they need to do the work.
Six Tips for Effective Onboarding
So, here are six tips recommended by Gallup that managers should consider as they seek to set their new employees up for success with effective onboarding practices:
Find creative ways to build connections: Whether it is in person or online, managers need to create opportunities for people to connect and build relationships as they acclimatize to the organization and their roles. This could include but is not limited to virtual coffee chats and or in -person meet and greets.
Encourage tenured employees to reach out: Ensuring that new hires feel supported is a crucial part of the onboarding process. As such, a word of encouragement or check in from senior staff can help to build confidence in new employees and provide reassurance that there is help should they need it.
Lean into Learning: Effective onboarding processes should help new employees understand the greater mission and purpose of the organization. Gallup emphasizes that “When employees understand why and how their job fits into the bigger picture, they can start delivering brand promises faster.”
Add experiences that bring your culture to life: According to Gallup, new hires need to see and feel how the organizational culture plays out and how they fit into it. This requires both communication and firsthand experiences and accounts from existing employees at all levels of the organization and/or provide opportunities for new hires to observe the culture.
Create a formal mentorship program: One of the main expectations that new employees have of their managers and their organizations is for them to provide opportunities for growth and development. Gallup suggests that “to meet this need and promote retention — leaders should pair new hires with a mentor or adviser who can answer their questions and help them learn and grow.” Mentors can also serve as a sounding board and a source of inside knowledge to help new hires navigate their roles successfully.
Preparemanagers for an active role: Gallup emphasizes that “managers must be present, involved, and available throughout new hires’ onboarding journey.” Managers should model the culture, demonstrate the values of the company, and provide learning experiences that bring the culture to life. For effective onboarding, managers need to become coaches and connect their new employees with the right people and provide the support and mentoring they need.
Finally, in today’s job market where most organizations are struggling to attract and retain top talent, the saying – “First impression counts”, does not just apply to the new employee who is trying to impress his/her boss. The research confirms that managers and organizations need to get their onboarding processes right and to create the right conditions for their new and existing employees to engage. For when all is said and done, the quality of the onboarding experience can make all the difference in whether new hires decide to stay or with the company or jump at the first opportunity they get.
So over to you- what has been your experience when starting a new job?
Did you feel supported? Did your onboarding process provide structure, clear information, specific job-related goals and the resources you needed to do the job? Did the onboarding process set you up for success?
Until next time, Remember, ItsALearningLife!
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“The First”- is the label usually attached to the person or people who come before all others in the context of time or order. For those who have earned the distinction of being “the first”, great honor and fanfare go with the achievement. And while being “the first” to achieve a major goal or milestone event should be celebrated, being “the first” can easily become a double-edged sword.
The label of being “the first” can create lofty expectations of the title holder that might quickly become isolating and burdensome. In fact, when someone becomes “the first” to achieve a significant goal or accomplishment, you will often hear much about the accolades and the hard work that led up to it. But what happens after? Does being “the first” guarantee future success? Does the label help or hurt? Is being “the first” a blessing or a burden?
Being “The First”
There are many benefits to being the first. Being “the first” gives the title holder bragging rights, and honorable mention in the history books as the first male or female to ever do “it”. Whether it is a personal or career accomplishment, being “the first,” gives the individual an opportunity to blaze a trail to lead others into the future, make a difference and to pave the way for those that come behind them. At the same time, being a forerunner presents great risk as there might not be any precedent or roadmap for the novel big idea.
Being “the first” might also mean longer hours devoted to building a new business, huge sacrifices to personal life, costly mistakes and failures, and tireless efforts to get support, develop new systems, and incredible pressure to be a great example. Because, when you are “the first” to do something big or new, you have both the burden and opportunity to cast the vision, get buy in, create access, identify opportunities, or transform systems.
So, whether you earned the first-place position, are a first born, was the first to start the business, first to graduate college, first to purchase a home, first male or female president/vice president- being “the first” is hard. Research tells us that many first-time entrepreneurs fail, in their first attempts to establish a business. First generation minorities to attend college, suffer from high dropout rates due to an absence of adequate resources and support. And first-time leaders are prone to make mistakes that can permanently derail their careers or set them back personally and professionally.
The hardships, uncertainty and risks associated with being the first is also true for anyone taking on a new role or doing something for the first time. For example, many first-time supervisors and managers lament the many mistakes they made, in making the transition from being a member of the team, to becoming the manager/leader of the team. First time managers often find themselves struggling after landing the job because they were not properly trained, or prepared to handle on the scope of work, varied expectations, and new responsibilities. As a result, they find it difficult to perform important functions such giving feedback, managing the work, engaging, and developing their people. Usually, after some trial and error, they gain the experience and confidence to help them turn things around. So, there many growing pains associated with doing anything for the first time.
Blessing or Burden?
I remember the first time I heard of the newest U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown-Jackson. Brown Jackson became “the first” black female justice in America’s highest court. Prior to the confirmation hearing, I had never heard of her of President Biden‘s nominee. And though all of whom watched the hearing were very impressed by her credentials, legal acumen and background, most of us were equally appalled by how she treated by the republican senators during the hearing.
While the treatment of the Justice might have been partisan, the hearing and the subsequent favorable outcome for Justice Ketanji JacksonBrown shone a light on the significant hurdles that black and brown people and other minorities in America and elsewhere face, in their journeys to become “the first”. Her ascension to the bench also highlighted the disparities in holders of the highest offices of the land and why representation matters. To her credit, Justice Ketanji Jackson Brown navigated the confirmation hearing with poise, grace and patience and made people who looked like her- very proud.
Personal Reflection on “Being the First”
For me, Justice Ketanji JacksonBrown‘s journey to becoming “the first”, though different, is similar to the experiences that may people face in their efforts to be “the first” and achieve their career or life goals. It also struck me that being “the first” does not guarantee future or continued success either. In fact, history books are littered with men and women whose initial success never amounted to much. And many first timers suffer from imposter syndrome or the fear of not able to sustain the success they have achieved. If anything, the scrutiny, pressures that come with being “the first” and the need to live up to expectations, can create undue stress, anxiety and fear that might cripple many first timers and holders of the title “the first”.
So, how do you avoid the dangers of being “the first”? From my perspective people who earn the distinction of being “the first”, as well as first timers, need three basic things to thrive and build on their past success:
Self-Belief /Assurance: When no one else sees or trusts your vision or the mission you are seeking to accomplish, you will need the conviction to believe in your talents and abilities, trust your judgement and to walk in the purpose you have defined for your life. This will help you to hold true to your values, ignore the noise and push past fear to pursue your goals and dreams.
Support: No matter how hard you work, how talented you are, you will never be able to fully realize your goals and objectives without support and engagement from key stakeholders and partners. In fact, most organizational change efforts fail because of the lack of leadership support, inadequate resources and the absence of employee participation. On a personal level, efforts to get to the goal might be tougher, if you do not have support of friends and family to help you physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Perseverance: When you look at successful and famous inventors and inventions, their history is marked by repeated failures on the path to success. As such first timers will need to demonstrate the resilience to able to pivot and bounce back when their best efforts fail. And to choose to hope again and again.
So, what advice would you offer up to a first-timer or someone who is struggling with being “the first”?
Until next time, Remember, ItsALearninglife.
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