Category Archives: Management

Managing Emotions at Work

7 Replies

downloadThe tears well up in Ashley’s eyes, she tries desperately to stop them, hide them, but, they stream unchecked down her face. John pushes back his chair from the table, and storms from the meeting room. The usually bubbly and energetic Ann, dejectedly looks down, there is no light in her eyes, no welcoming smile. Seth stares ahead impassively, silent, stoic, and seemingly oblivious to his surrounding and peers and he says nothing.

Have you ever observed or experienced any of these “not so happy” emotional reactions in the workplace. Those swells of emotions; that fit of anger; the burst of tears; the blank hard stare of a colleague, team member, supervisor or direct report. Did you find it Awkward? Annoying? Inappropriate? Uncomfortable? Unprofessional? Regardless of what your views are on such emotional displays in the workplace, they are not uncommon and should not be taken lightly or brushed aside.

images (9)Like it  or not, the reality is that, the workplace is made up of people, and people have emotions that are often times expressed at work. Truth be told, not all the issues affecting employees and their performance originate on the job. Some of the factors causing emotional outbursts or provoking emotional responses in employees, might be internal to the job, external to the job or both. And though, you have often heard the saying that, “people should not take their problems to work”, people in fact do. I am by no means advocating that people take their personal issues and problems to work and vent their frustrations on other members of their teams.

However, I submit that, since the average employee spends 8-12 hours at work, it is not far-fetched or unusual for tempers to flare, emotions to run high, tears to flow, or for tension to emerge between supervisors and direct reports, among coworkers and within the ranks of leadership as well. If you have never had any of these experiences (been overwhelmed by emotions at work) or observed them, you are probably lucky. Never judge the person who has. People are all wired differently, triggered by different things and likely to respond to work pressures, stress, failures, bad news, and personal matters differently.

What are some of the factors that could cause these emotional reactions on the job?
images (4)There are many different  internal factors (related to the job or the organization) that are likely to produce  emotional responses in employees on the job. These include but are not limited to:
• Promotion/demotion.
• Voluntary/ involuntary separation (for the employee or colleague).
• Transfer from one unit/branch/location to another.
• Unfavorable performance reviews or  feedback.
• Failure on a big project.
• High stress level relating to long hours on the job, volume of work, difficult relationships on the job).

The external factors are those factors relating to the employee’s personal life (outside of the job and the organization), that might be affecting their performance, attitude or mental/emotional well-being. Some of these domestic/personal issues might include:
• A sick child/relative.
• Death of a loved one/friend.
• Personal ill-health(diagnosis of serious illness).
• Divorce, separation or any other marital problems.
• Parenting problems.
• Financial hardships resulting from the loss of income from a spouse or head of household.

Therefore, it is not unusual for employees to be affected by both internal and external factors at the same time, resulting in a decline in their emotional well-being, performance on the job and general morale.

images (5)Imagine the scenario with Ashley. Unknown to her supervisor, Ashley has experienced some difficult personal/domestic issues that have affected her performance on the job. Ashley’s supervisor has raised concerns about performance which she has also acknowledged. Ashley commits to  improving her performance, and her supervisor commits to supporting her. Over the following months, Ashley shows some signs of improvements in her performance, but not enough to allay the concerns of her supervisor. Ashley’s supervisor schedules a meeting to discuss with Ashley the need for urgent improvements. Though he is careful and fair in his approach, Ashley breaks down and starts to cry in the meeting. In this instance, Ashley’s emotional burst of tears may have nothing to do with the fairness of his/her supervisor or the accuracy of the feedback given. Ashley might have been very overwhelmed by  both the internal and external factors mentioned above and the meeting was just a trigger.

What then is an appropriate response for the manager/supervisor?

images (6)As a starting point, responsibility for managing emotions in the work place is each employee’s responsibility. It is important that all employees, (supervisors and coworkers) recognize and acknowledge that these things happen, and are likely to happen in the workplace. No one is immune for even strong people/personalities have breaking points. People just manifest their emotions differently. Employees like Ann might sink into  deep depression. John might swear and utter inappropriate words in anger or frustration, and Seth might simply “shut down”. These scenarios are highly likely, for it is particularly difficult for people to divorce themselves from their personal lives and be two different persons. The presence of any of these triggers (internal or external) in an employee’s life, might easily reach boiling point and explode  at work.

Therefore, managers/supervisors have a specific role to play,  if and when these varied emotional responses are played out on the job. Supervisors have to be especially mindful and aware that of issues/life events that might threaten to derail employees and affect their performance on the job. With this in mind, supervisors have the responsibility to take the time to get to know the members of their teams. You can’t effectively manage people you don’t know, or understand (i.e. Their personalities, aptitudes, attitudes and work ethic). In the instance that an employee display emotional reactions on the job, the supervisor should probe deeper or carefully observe the employee to assess  if there is an underlying problem. If and when they are able to pinpoint the issue/concern, the supervisor should display empathy and compassion to  the distressed/stressed employee and find ways to support.

images (7)Additionally, managers should also demonstrate sufficient emotion intelligence to be able to manage each employee differently. Some employees might not be bothered by a sharp tone, strong or firm words or pressure coming from a manager in his/her call for improved performance. But for another employee, a coaxing or gentler approach, heaping praises while pointing out gaps, might be more effective approach. Managers by their own actions and leadership styles, should foster a safe environment where employees can have the confidence to share whatever issue(s) that  might be affecting them  to get help/support. This also means that, trust and confidentiality must be hall marks of the manager’s approach.

What is the employee’s responsibility?
images (3) As mentioned earlier, the employee should also shoulder some of the responsibility for managing his /her own emotions in the workplace. Employees have a responsibility (an obligation even) to maintain some semblance of professionalism, though grappling with difficult situations/pressures internal and external to their jobs. Employees should always demonstrate respect for self, customers, peers, and be ever mindful not to breach the policies of the organization.Contending views with peers, negative feedback, stress caused by the volume of work/strict deadlines, disagreement with supervisors are all normal.

images (8)By being aware of their own emotions, their own triggers and how they are feeling, employees might be able to excuse themselves from a meeting to regain lost composure. If external factors are impacting their performance, employees must be mature, honest and willing to approach their supervisor or colleagues, and explain that, they are experiencing a challenge, and might need some support, space or time. The presence of a life event or personal issues is no excuse to shirk one’s responsibilities, “shut down” or disrespect fellow team members. Should this ever occur, the employee must be quick to apologize and strive never to repeat same.

It is also important that employees practice the  Q-TIP (Quit Taking It Personally) principle on the job. Tension among peers about the approach to a project at work, constructive criticisms, failures and “stretch assignments”, (that seem overwhelming or unreasonable at one point in time) can ultimately benefit you in the long run. They may test your capabilities, your will, and even your talents.But the successful results/outcomes  they produce might surprise you, and make you happy you were pushed, and that you persevered.

download (2)Please note as well that, the display of emotions in the work place is not bad. It just needs to be managed. It does not mean that the employee is weak, or unprofessional. We are never to judge or be judge when we demonstrate any of these emotional responses. For as we strive for personal and professional growth and development, we will never know where our respective journeys will take us, the life events that will change, shape or disrupt our lives. As such, we should always remember that people are people first, they are not their jobs, their titles nor their roles.

“What do we live for, if not to make  the world  a bit less difficult for each other?”

                                                                                                                                         Author Unknown

Images Courtesy of Google.
Copyright © 2014 All Rights Reserved

Are You Engaged?

2 Replies

engagement3I am pretty sure that when you think or hear of the term engagement – the first thing that comes to mind is a proposal for marriage. Yes, the moment the man or woman (not so uncommon these days) pops the question and ask his/her beloved for their hand in marriage. If you thought so, you would be quite right but that’s not what I am thinking, nor is it the focus of this post.

In today’s  workplace, the term engagement  is a relatively new  buzz word used to describe the degree to which employees are motivated, happy, satisfied with the work they do, interested  in their organizations, and  display support  for  the company’s mission or their team. On the other hand, disengagement speaks a situation where employee’s behaviors and attitudes are negative, morale is low and they do the bare minimum to get by. Studies suggest that between 20-30% of employees within organizations are disengaged.  As such, one would reasonably conclude that each organization is comprised of two categories of employees – the engaged and the disengaged.

engagement2In any organization and for any manager or leader, the engaged employee is a dream. Not unlike a newly engaged person, this individual is happy, finds meaning in their work, supports the fellow members of the team and are highly productive. They are driven and they get the job done. On the flip side, are the disengaged employees. These are the unhappy ones, less motivated by the work they are doing and even less satisfied with their jobs. Usually, the disengaged employee operate at two extremes. That is, from the heavy silence and passive participation in meetings/ teams to the vocal opposition, negative attitudes/opinions they express when anything is to be done or any change is proposed. Working with them, is akin to pulling teeth and saps your energy. Because for them, it is  never just about the matter at hand, but everything else (past and present) as they are shackled by the history of their experiences. Does any of  this sound familiar or does anyone come to mind?

imagesCAMEZKVII’m sure by now you are probably making a mental note the people in your organization to whom these categories applies. But better yet, do you know where you fall? Are you engaged or not? Regardless of what your answer is, there is no need to judge or condemn these persons. The issues they struggle with are real. And however this is manifested, they need help and support from their supervisors and coworkers. I’ve not always thought so. But, I have come to learn that at some point of our work lives, we ourselves are not immune. We too risk becoming disengaged, or can slide along the continuum (engagement or disengagement) as a result of a problem with a supervisor, a small win, a big failure or just the general work environment/culture of the organization.

Which brings me to the point? What really causes an individual to become disengaged? A quick review of the literature will tell you that disengagement might be caused by one or all of the following:

  • Lack of respect from management.
  • Employee feeling that his/her  contribution or work is not valued.
  • Inadequate knowledge/understanding of company’s mission or even how they fit in.
  • Inequity and unfairness in how employees are treated(managers have favorites).
  • Poor working relationships with supervisor and managers.

imagesCAH1MI1BA case in point was my first experience with a disengaged coworker. She was a very mature, knowledgeable and competent individual who had spent over 15 years working with the company, prior to the 8+ years we worked together. After a couple of interactions, watching her body language in meetings, observing her level of responsiveness and just the negative attitude and tone with which she operated, I was pretty annoyed. She was never rude, but I wondered how someone with such a wealth of experience and maturity could be like that. And better yet, if she was so obviously unhappy with the company and the work, why didn’t she just leave? Why torture herself? Why make life and work more difficult for  the other people with whom she worked, due to the sheer amount of effort and energy, they would have to expend to work effectively with her.

imagesCA23Z6XAThough I struggled to understand why she was just like that, I came to accept that there were many others like her as well. While she was expressive,  the others were silent and passive. I  figured that, at the very least, we all had a job to do and that job paid our bills. And as long as that was true, then each of us had an obligation to give of our best efforts. That for me was simply a matter of personal integrity. I would later learn my annoyance was misplaced, for she like others who were , were not always like that. Once upon a time, she too had been engaged and she did in fact, love what she did. Unfortunately, she had, had, one too many bad experiences in the workplace –with leaders, supervisors and even customers. As a result, she no longer trusted the organization. And since everyone had a right to work, she responded as best she could to survive.

Therefore, it important that both organizations and individuals remember:

  1. imagesCAHR4550Organizations through their management teams and climate they create or foster, have an obligation to provide a “safe and enabling environment” for their employees to thrive and grow.
  2. Issues left ignored or swept under the rug- do not disappear. The buildup and may later threaten to derail even the very  best employees and the most engaged.
  3. Disengaged employees hurt organizations as much as they hurt themselves. They are likely to hurt an organizations performance and bottom line due to their levels of service and productivity.
  4. Disengaged employees can negatively affect an organization’s culture or may even negatively influence new recruits.
  5. Both organizations and individuals have to make a conscious effort to recognize and assess the levels of engagement amongst employees in their organization and in themselves.

Images Courtesy of Google.

Copyright © 2014 All Rights Reserved

So You Think You’ve Arrived?

5 Replies

“Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.” Zig Ziglar

imagesW127FBBZThink about a time when you’ve experienced success in some area of your life, and received accolades from your family, peers and friends. For most persons, this a proud moment, a rewarding experience  which can be described as “heady” at best. Yet, this is only one side of the story. Most successful people will tell you, the road after success was probably rougher than the one leading to it. Indeed, you may learn that behind each of those individual stories of success and achievement, are untold stories that are filled with less pleasant experiences, that might have threatened to derail them. So, my focus here, is on some of the pitfalls of success, (i.e) what is likely to happen to the individual, after he / she experiences success.

For most people, success and achievement produce a huge boost in  self-confidence and provide greater motivation towards the pursuit of goals. As such, it is highly unlikely to cause an individual to  immediately think about how they need may need to change. No, not when whatever they have done has worked, or has yielded the results they hoped for. More often than not, the individual is likely to think he/she is on the right path, and herein lies the danger.

My “blind spot” popped up very shortly after my first promotion on the job. It was accentuated by the fact that, I had just won four (4)  quality performance awards including “Employee of the Year, Most Dynamic, Best Performing Learning Facilitator and 1st Faculty to Produce a Research Paper”. It’s therefore safe to say  that -“I was on a high”. The recognition and accolades that followed only served to solidify my work ethic and philosophy about work and working with people. This could best be captured in my (then) personal mantra,“It’s not about me, it’s about the job. I don’t have to like you (or vice versa) for us to get the job done”. I don’t know how that might  sound to you, but for me and other goal oriented people, the focus was simply to get the job done and produce results-not so much the “people factor”.  So I was truly caught off guard when I realized  that “what had gotten me my current level  of success would not get me to my next.

You see, my job promotion has placed me at the helm the agency’s satellite training center, responsible for its regional operations and business development initiatives, directly supervising a team of 7 and approximately 20 third-party vendors, and suppliers. I tackled my new role, deeply conscious of the weight of my new responsibilities, the expectations of others,  and with a burning desire to continue to succeed.  Sometime after, the agency conducted an employee satisfaction survey to assess how well the organization was performing. These types of survey provide the management team with a good gauge as to how they are doing, gaps in performance and the areas of business operations that require improvements.

imagesGJM2MUUQThe good news was, my unit was doing well on most performance indicators, but the bad news was -my team was not entirely happy with me. That is, my management style. For though it produced results, and I enjoyed their confidence, respect and support, I wasn’t meeting their needs. Not surprisingly, I experienced all the emotions I described in  another post (Why Does It Hurt So Bad?) and then some. Please note, that this dilemma was by no means unique to me. A quick review on the literature on Leadership Development will show that, many persons who assume leadership roles for the first time often face this issue or another during the period of adjustment.

Fortunately for me, the response of my supervisor was swift. She anticipated how devastated I would have felt, the learning curve I was in and she gave me her support. To move forward, both organizational and individual efforts were required. This experience prompted me to go in search of books on leadership, and resulted in me receiving developmental coaching, along with  participating in a truly life changing leadership development program. These interventions, gave me the skills and tools, I would need to become the effective leader I strove to be, and equipped me the competences I needed, to become more effective with my team and guide my continued success.

Therefore, my experience is  merely a reminder that, there are hidden dangers lurking with success. Success in one role, does not automatically lead to success in another for we all have blind-spots. It also taught me that:

  1. imagesDespite my earlier successes, I hadn’t arrived. In fact, I was just getting started, and was even a little ill-prepared for my new role. This is by no means an indictment on my organization or the effectiveness of talent management and development strategy at my agency. Our successes should also prompt us to assess ourselves in the context of the new and emerging expectations and obligations that will follow.
  2. Both organizations and people need to invest in ongoing training and learning and development, regardless of role or position. Therefore, it is critically important that organizations plan for the development of their teams, prepare them to grow, move and attain success within the organization, and develop into more effective individuals.
  3. Development is dynamic – strengths can become weaknesses and new roles may require new skills. To avoid the pitfalls of success,  one must recognize that, the approaches and mindsets that brought you earlier successes, might no longer serve you at the next level and you will need to change.

What has your experience been? Please share, I’d like to hear from you.

Images Courtesy of Google.

Copyright © 2014 All Rights Reserved

Why Does It Hurt So Bad? Feedback is a Gift!

15 Replies

images-sadWhy does it hurt so bad? Why do I feel so sad?  Thought I was … No, this not a love song. Nor is it  about  my love life,  or  the death or loss of a loved one.  I am talking about FEEDBACK.

At some time or another, you and I have had to give feedback to someone, or might have been on the receiving end. And for the most of us, the experience hasn’t always been pleasant. In fact, on the work scene, it is not unlikely for  both employees and supervisors to dread, that time of year when performance appraisals are to be conducted. And even in our personal lives, feedback – the nature and content of it, has led to, or contributed to, many a  broken or damaged relationships, shattered trust and sent many to seek the counsel of elders, family, pastors and friends. Still, I contend, no matter how you look at it, feedback is a GIFT.

Here is the dilemma- feedback comes from everywhere and everyone, and it can be both  good and bad. Clearly, positive feedback, the type  usually regarded as good, doesn’t make us feel mad, bad or sad. It pleases us, makes us glow and run around “boasting” of our finer attributes to anyone who will listen. Usually, it is the negative variety a.ka. bad feedback, that causes us the  tears, pain, anger, sends us ranting, catches us reacting defensively, or signals us to turn on our Silence buttons. When this happens, whether the  feedback is given by loved one, friend(s), supervisor(s) or, co-worker(s), customer(s)  or all of the above- doesn’t make it any easier accept.

imagesWC1QS3C2

Fortunately or unfortunately, I’ve experienced all the emotions I just described, and the  kinds of feedback I mentioned. One my earliest experiences with negative feedback,  came from my  supervisor in my very first job. In my then role, I was responsible for coordinating over 20 training courses offered by the agency. The position I  assumed, had been vacant for a whole year, and there was a “back-log” with issues deemed  both  urgent and important  at the same time. As you could imagine, I worked hard to resolve these issues, while focusing on my key deliverables, learning the organization and my job. But, none of this bothered me, for I love a challenge, and tend to be very committed to whatever I do. Needless to say, by the time my probationary period ended, I was confident, settled and happy with my progress and performance.  And with this positive energy and attitude, I sat down with my supervisor for my performance appraisal.

untitledfeedback 2Our discussions about my performance and impact went very well. There were no surprises. That is, until she mentioned that, some of the participants for a course I coordinated, were dissatisfied with me. The issue they raised was related to my attitude, and their perception that,  I did not seem particularly “friendly” to  them. Truth be told, they were my least favorite group and they had the biggest issues on my “backlog” list. Speaking to them, and interacting with them, always  required extra preparation-mental and otherwise. But I consider myself professional, and they were our/my customers, so truly I did my best. As my supervisor shared, I remember feeling hurt and angry, as I fought the tears welling up in my eyes . Suddenly, it was as if, nothing else had been said in the discussion, none of the kudos I had earlier heard/received mattered. And the kinder she was, the worst I felt.

Sometime after  my tears subsided, and my thoughts of their ungratefulness faded, I resolved that I had to change my approach. After all, don’t we all want to be seen favorably, to the people who matter? So,I made a deliberate effort to “warm up” to the group, smile, say  hi to them in the corridors, and be more patient in our interactions. It wasn’t before long  that they too responded in kind, and I made friends with the group, as we continued to grapple with challenging issues. The way I figure it now is that, I was much younger then and less wiser I suspect.

Since then, I’ve had many roles and numerous opportunities to give and receive feedback.

feedback

Yet to date, the most enduring lessons have been:

  • Feedback isn’t always positive or negative but it should always be honest.
  • It is equally important to listen to what is said as well as what is not said.
  • LISTEN and SILENT has the same letters- so listen carefully and ask questions to help you better understand the issue not argue.
  • Instead of dismissing the feedback you don’t like, ask yourself- is any of it true?
  • Be kind and gentle in sharing feedback-regardless of appearances, people are people first with emotions, insecurities and fears.
  • Avoid making generalizations about people. Base your feedback on the specific situation you observed, the behavior and the impact it had on you, the job or others.
  • Examine your motives in giving feedback – is it meant to develop or “tear down”?
  • Say thank you- you don’t have to agree with what you’ve  heard (but it is better to know how others feel about you and it gives you an opportunity to fix it).

In the end, I have learnt to value feedback. Feedback should make us glow and grow. Feedback is a Gift!

What has your experience been in giving or receiving feedback? Practice on me !

Images Courtesy of Google.

Copyright © 2014 All Rights Reserved

Just Do It……..Do It Now!

9 Replies

imagesX97HBCNRThe new year is here and January is running fast. You’ve made some New Year resolutions  which are either fading into the deeper recesses of your mind or are in full gear. Whichever the case, I’m with you for I have been there  and done that.

Writing a blog has been on my  ” To  Do List ”  since 2011 when I first came across the concept, along with developing an online portfolio, shedding 10 pounds and the list goes on.But for whatever reason, life happens, I’ve never started and none of my friends have kept me accountable though I’ve said  I would. To be fair though, they have repeatedly told me  that they are patiently waiting for my memoirs/autobiography for believe me , I like you and so many others have  STORIES  to tell.

Anyways, back to the point, I’ve finally published my blog- It’s A Learning Life -Lessons in the Journey Towards Personal & Professional Development http://itsalearninglife.wordpress.com.  And trust me, you’d never believe the amount of time and effort it took  to get started . Hats off to the  established Bloggers out there, I  now have a greater appreciation for what you do and the courage it takes to just put yourself out there.

But I’ve resolved, my blog’s debut isn’t perfect, it doesn’t have to be . In fact, the content, style and format of my blog may change and evolve as I do- and I’m ok with that. It simply reflects my first step, my best effort at this time, and my commitment to meet one of my personal and professional goals for 2014. So  if you like me  have  been putting off a goal or project for some area(s) of your life – personal, career, education, financial, health , spiritual etc., my advice to you  would be to – just  do it. Start, neither  you   nor your efforts  have to be perfect,  your focus may shift a bit, you may slip up but stay the course and do it.

collagenew yer

Wherever you are in your  journey, whatever the situation, the  level you’re at, go ahead  and find your list of “things to do for 2014” and start. If you don’t have one, it’s not too late  to go make one,  you’re even entitled to dream, but right after you read, comment, like and share.

What are your goals for 2014? Please share, I’d like to hear from you.

TNB

Copyright © 2014 All Rights Reserved