Have you ever choked up in a conversation or felt tears streaming down your face in while talking about something personal? I have. In fact, I used to feel embarrassed and annoyed that the more I wanted the stop the tears, the more freely they seemed to flow. In those moments, I have felt vulnerable, self-conscious, weak, and frustrated and that somehow it meant I didn’t have it all together. I was wrong.
But when people feel that they opinions and ideas won’t be accepted, they start to withdraw and hide (silence) or push too hard, (violence). Therefore, to help people feel safe in these crucial conversations, we must establish mutual purpose and mutual respect by letting the other person know that we care about them and their issue and that we have have shared goals. When we make people feel safe in tough conversations, we you can talk about anything, and people will listen.
I know that making assumptions is wrong and that when and where I do it, I am projecting my fears, insecurities, doubts, and expectations on others. I also recognize that I also treat many of my assumptions as truth and act accordingly. Afterall, most of us create stories and narratives in our heads that justify our positions on a matter or to help us make sense of situations we are facing. These assumptions are potentially damaging to relationships as we defend our positions and try to make the other person wrong.
Did you know that overwork and burnout contributed to more than 745,000 deaths worldwide in just one year? Yes, according to Psychology Today, a recent study from the World Health Organization, found that “over 60 percent employees suffer from workplace stress.” In today’s environment, the fear or risk of feeling or becoming “burnout” has never been greater or more real. So even though we survived 2020, most of us approached 2021, cautiously optimistic that the worst was behind us, and that better days were coming with the COVID-19 vaccine.
All the stories of people who have overcame extraordinary circumstances to beat the odds, those who rose to the top of their game to achieve great success or blazed new trails are filled with examples of men and women who pushed past crippling fear, failure, rejection, and disappointment to chase after their dreams. Their stories show how they stepped out of their comfort zone and embraced risks to achieve breakthroughs and their life’s purpose. But whether you are successful or not, every one of us wrestle with fear in one area of our lives or another.
The law of attraction states that we attract into our lives what we project into the universe. This simply means that the people and events we attract to our lives are based on what we focus on and direct our attention to. The law of attraction is based on the view that we focus on expands. So, if we have negative thoughts, we will send out negative energy which will attract negative people and things into our lives. But if you think positive thoughts and feelings, you will generate positive energy which will attract positive events, people, and things to your life. So, if you are feeling negative or positive in this moment- that is the energy you are sending out to your environment and the people around you.
If you are reading this article, chances are you might be dealing with a difficult season, have just come out of a one or are heading to challenging time in either your personal or professional life. But in this age of social media, where we are bombarded by images of people living their “best lives” through their highlight reels, it is easy to believe that some people have all the luck, while you are struggling or feeling stuck. Truth is, nothing is ever as good or as bad as it seems. Life is a every changing journey, filled with peaks and valleys or highs and lows that each of us go through. Since no one gets to go through life without experiencing peaks and valleys, how do you make these good times and bad times work for you?
The Coffee Bean story uses the powerful analogy of a pot of boiling water and how three objects (a carrot, an egg, and a coffee bean) are changed by the heat and pressure when placed in the pot. The carrot goes in hard; it becomes soft by the heat and the pressure of the water. The longer the carrot stays in the boiling water, the more it loses its original form, becoming softer and softer and until it loses its vibrant color and taste. Though the egg had a hard outer shell that covers its soft liquid insides, when placed in the boiling water, the soft liquid inside begins to get hard. And if that egg stays in the water long enough, it becomes so hard that even the harder outer shell cracks. But when the coffee bean is placed into the pot of boiling water,
We have all heard the sayings “Time waits for no man” and “Time is Money”. Both of these cautionary statements are intended to remind us that we cannot delay the passage of time and that time is the most finite and valuable resource we have. Yet, the dilemma for many people is that they do not believe they have enough time to invest in the activities that are most important to them and that will ultimately help them achieve their mission and goals for personal and professional success.
While change is constantly happening in the environment around us, change can be difficult to deal with. Some people see change as exciting and readily embrace it because of the new opportunities and innovations it presents. But for others, the process of change is chaotic, risky, and filled with negative emotions such as uncertainty, stress, and fear since change marks a departure from what is comfortable or familiar.