Have you ever wondered how the tradition of celebrating birthdays came about? I have. So, I did a little digging and found some fascinating
It’s easy to gloss over our blessings and/or to take them for granted, we really shouldn’t. Because chances are, some of the very blessings we now enjoy (the career or job, health, finances, relationships) are things we all struggled to achieve and prayed earnestly for in another season. And for that alone, we should always give thanks.
In fact, the Happiness Rule states that “50% of our happiness is determined by genetics, 10% by our circumstances and 40% by our internal state of mind.” This means that to a large extent, happiness is a choice and our overall satisfaction with our lives is influenced by how we think and our mindsets.
November is celebration season for me! It is the month the earth was blessed with my presence (Birthday Edition Loading), the month I made a big change to move to America and the month some of my favorite people were born.
If you struggle with identifying your strengths and playing to them, you are not alone. Throughout the course of your life, it is highly likely that you might have received lots of negative or corrective feedback that focused on pointing out and fixing your weaknesses rather than highlighting your strengths.
At a surface level, telling someone to just be yourself or be authentic might seem like solid, and great advice. But this advice can be confusing on many levels, and it raises a ton of questions. Afterall, which self are you advising them to be? Is it their past self, their today self, or their aspirational self (the better version of ourselves) that each of us hope to one day meet? What if they haven’t yet figured out who they are or want to be?
*Where do you see yourself 3, 5, 10 years from now? *Is your current path taking you where you want to go? *Are you on your current path because its familiar or comfortable? *Is there another, less troublesome path you could take towards achieving your dreams?
So, when do you feel most unsafe?
Is it when the zeros in your bank account starts to dwindle?
Is it when you are home alone or walking down a dark street?
Is it when you are experiencing conflict with a supervisor or coworker on the job?
Is it when you’re in danger of losing a loved one or when your relationship with your partner has broken down?
Have you ever choked up in a conversation or felt tears streaming down your face in while talking about something personal?
I know that making assumptions is wrong and that when and where I do it, I am projecting my fears, insecurities, doubts, and expectations on others. I also recognize that I also treat many of my assumptions as truth and act accordingly.
Did you know that overwork and burnout contributed to more than 745,000 deaths worldwide in just one year?
When you hear about the 5 Second Rule, it is talking about the amount of time you have to quickly pick up a piece of food that has fallen to ground.
A ‘Fred’ is someone who goes above and beyond to deliver excellent service or stands out in his or her work regardless the role or circumstances.
All the stories of people who have overcame extraordinary circumstances to beat the odds, those who rose to the top of their game to achieve great success or blazed new trails are filled with examples of men and women who pushed past crippling fear, failure, rejection, and disappointment to chase after their dreams.
The law of attraction states that we attract into our lives what we project into the universe. This simply means that the people and events we attract to our lives are based on what we focus on and direct our attention to.
Life is a every changing journey, filled with peaks and valleys or highs and lows that each of us go through.
The Coffee Bean story uses the powerful analogy of a pot of boiling water and how three objects (a carrot, an egg, and a coffee bean) are changed by the heat and pressure when placed in the pot.
When I assessed my habits then and tracked how I was spending my time, I realized I was voting for an unproductive TV watcher not a writer. My behaviors were not consistent with my goal to write and publish a book someday. I knew these behaviors had to change.
In fact, research tell us that “approximately 43% of our daily behaviors are performed out of habit.”
This fixed mindset that I did not like math and was not good at it started in my childhood and travelled with me all the way through to college.
Yet, many of us were never taught how to deal with conflict in a healthy and constructive way. Most of us probably learned how to manage conflict from the unhealthy examples demonstrated by our parents or from what we saw during our childhood.
With this “everyone gets a trophy” generation, I’ll be the first to admit that I sometimes struggle with feeling empathy for some people who describe their lives as “hard.”
So, whether it was poverty, loneliness, loss of employment or income, death of a loved one, a life-threatening diagnosis or some other life changing event, we have all had to overcome something, we have all had to be resilient.
For me, the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme is great illustration of what happens when trust is violated or broken.
Supervisors who do not trust their teams are more likely to micromanage. People who do not trust their partners are more likely to be insecure, question their every move or sneak around trying to get information.
Making assumptions, jumping to conclusions, reacting emotionally and not being able to distinguish between facts or fake news are obvious indicators that you might not be thinking critically about a particular situation, individual or issue.
If you have ever listened to a successful person speak about their achievements or journey towards their biggest moment, whether it was an athlete, actor, entrepreneur or professional, the one thing you would probably hear them mention is the importance of being and staying motivated.
Wash your hands, do not touch your face and sanitize seemed to be the never-ending tune playing in our heads. Sneezing and coughing became taboo in public spaces and could earn you the side eye amongst family and friends.
He seemed to have a problem for every solution I tried to help him with and could hardly commit to taking much needed action to help himself.
Her feedback had revealed a blind spot and I knew then that I would need to do some things differently.
Yet, when I think about my own history and relationship with feedback- it is complicated are the only words to describe it.
Our negative thoughts can stem from an unanswered call to a friend or loved one, or an unacknowledged text.
However, I have also worked in environments where, I have had a coworker who looks like me say “I don’t like you all (meaning immigrants)” and accuse me of receiving preferential treatment (due to Caribbean heritage) as compared to other black women.
During this time, my only self-care (more like self-preservation) was wearing a mask, washing my hands and social distancing.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that, 2020 was a year like no other and no one saw it coming.
There is a $9.9 billion market for motivational self-improvement programs and products that seek to improve us physically, mentally, financially or spiritually.
Four years ago (Today), I migrated to the USA to embark on a brand new chapter of my life. Excited about my visions of success, the lure of new opportunities and the well wishes of friends and family, I flew out bravely. But, like any big life event or major change, the journey has been filled with challenges and opportunities that I had to navigate to transition… Continue reading Coming to America..4 Years Later
“Almost Every Successful Person Begins With Two Beliefs, The Future Can Be Better Than The Present And I Have The Power To Make It So.”
Much of what we think, how we think, what we see, how we feel, and how we act is determined by our personal biases, and limited experiences. However “valid” or “right, “we believe these perspectives to be - they might not always be so.
They say that, 'beauty is in the eyes of the beholder'. I say, so is success. Recently, I had conversations with two friends - one male and, the other female, in which success, perceptions of success, or the lack thereof were common themes. In these interactions, both friends shared their views about their own successes… Continue reading Success & Misperceptions of Success
Making a commitment is sometimes easy, but staying committed is most times hard. This is true of most commitments, whatever their shape or form. Nonetheless, at the start of a New Year, many people declare themes, set goals and share resolutions about what they hope to achieve in the long and short-term. Unfortunately though, some people are permanent non-starters, and their… Continue reading That Commitment Thing….
You get the call. After days and months of applying for jobs, tweaking your resume with key words from job announcements/postings, to ensure that you avoid the “black hole” of online applications, and applicant tracking systems, you have an interview and are a candidate for the job. Yet, like public speaking, going to the dentist… Continue reading Let’s Talk: About Interviews
Marriage/divorce, relocation/migration, critical illness, new job or starting a business, are just a few of the important life events that one may have to deal with at some point in their lives. If you’re lucky, you may only have to deal with just one of these life events, and hopefully one that you choose. Sadly,… Continue reading On Change & Transitions: Make Your Change Work For You!
Some time ago, I had a conversation with a colleague at work, in which I raised some issues about a work flow process that I had observed. As I shared my views on how the process could be improved, she nodded her head enthusiastically in agreement. Since I was new to the team, I asked… Continue reading Lead At The Level You’re At!
“You discover yourself in losing yourself in the service of others”.Ghandi All across the globe, people in every country, sector and of all ethnicities volunteer their time, and give their resources to help/support varied causes, events or efforts. But what exactly is volunteering? According to Wikipedia “Volunteering is generally considered an altruistic activity and… Continue reading Volunteering: A Great Option For You!
I recently watched a TEDX video, Dream Big, Live Small with Dee Williams, who shared how her illness and life changing experiences dramatically transformed her perspective on life and living. She shared about how her fears about her own mortality changed her perspective, caused her to reflect on her life and make some drastic changes. These changes included selling her… Continue reading Perspective is Everything !
Doubt kill more dreams than failure ever will It is a truth universally acknowledged that challenges, setbacks, failures and disappointment are a part of life. The best laid plans will go awry. People will hurt and disappoint you. Unexpected challenges and issues will pop up as you go about your daily lives, and well thought… Continue reading On Failure and Motivation
I’ve had my share of failures in my road to personal and professional success and experienced moments when I felt like a failure. Whether it was the five different interviews processes that I went through in my efforts to get a promotion or the three frustrating years it took before I was able to purchase a home here in the US. Every failure brought a feeling of rejection, discouragement and frustration to the point that I would sometimes feel like giving up.
People who suffer from imposter syndrome might also miss out on opportunities for promotion and advancement because they do not believe that they are qualified for positions that are within their scope or area of expertise.
So, I can relate to having experienced moments (personal and professional) where I have felt trapped or stuck in situations that I couldn’t seem to make progress on or move forward.